Hephaestus Audio

Okay.  Uncle! 

We tried to eliminate the requisite blue LED on the front of the HMA-1000 to avoid distraction in a dark home theater environment, but we can see we’re outvoted.  A quick search through your favorite audiophile publication will yield scores and scores of products with a virtual ”Lite-Brite” set of blue LEDs on the front panel.  We’ve decided to succumb quickly to the inevitable, rather than die a lingering non-blue death.

  

We’ve upgraded the HMA-1000 kilowatt switching amplifier to the BLU-500 half-kilowatt switching amplifier.  The reduced output power is due to the high power draw of the new Industrial Blue LED Arrayâ„¢ on the front panel.  The build and audio quality had to be reduced as well to hit the same price point, but we think the sacrifice is well worth it.  Our customers tend to agree, as illustrated in the following cherry picked testimonials:

 

“The sound is crap.  Everything I look at outside of my home theater has an orange tint now for Christ’s sake!  They tell me it’s because of ‘complementary colors’.  Whatever.  Anyway, the only redeeming thing about the BLU-500 is that my complexion has never looked this good!  I believe more salons should carry this product.”

Corky Saint Claire, Elko NV

 

“The build quality of the BLU-500 is marginal.  Wire nut outputs?  Honestly.  The audio is poor as well with what I can only describe as random ’chicken-like’ sounds.  But the bright blue LEDs are just plain beautiful!  This is true art and not the Jackson Pollock kind either.  I really can’t stop looking at it, despite the warnings and all.”

Bubba Diablo, Fargo MN

 

Here is a happy pair of customers enjoying a favorite movie in their unique high-end home theater, all while basking in the soft glow of the BLU-500:

 

Although not technically a laser, the Industrial Blue LED Array™ can cause injury with repeated brief glances.  Therefore, all units ship with the following placard, to be displayed prominently within 25 feet: 

 

We truly believe that moving from the HMA-1000 to the BLU-500 will be a big win for both Hephaestus Audio and the audiophile community.  The American architect Louis Sullivan once said, “form ever follows function”, but here at Hephaestus Audio we like to say, “form ever follows finance”, especially if there’s some serious money to be had! 

P.S.  April Fools! 

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 1st, 2009 at 4:15 am and is filed under April 1st. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.